2018: My dearest cancer

My dearest cancer,

Here I go again. Ready for a one on one converstation. So much to say, but yet so little words.

Tomorrow, it’s been 7 years since we first met. 7 years… full of sequences with obstacles, a lot of struggles and disillusionment, loneliness, pain and sadness. A fullness, leaving much emptiness behind…But not in my soul. That sparkle, detects the good in every single corner and at every little spot. That light, never gives up! And certaintly not on hope!

We fought already a lot. Endlessly long. Bottomless deep. Sometimes, I won. Sometimes, you did. But actually, there never was a real winner. We’ve both lost. A lot. Maybe too much. Maybe not. Maybe that’s why we’re in a ceasefire now. You are acting low profile. And I am licking my wounds.

Please, give me some time.I really need it!

Don’t be afraid, I will never forget you. Even if you wouldn’t take care of that, the check-ups and the remaining harmfull effects of the treatment would do so. But you know, that’s okay. I don’t wonna forget you.

I am part of you, and you are part of me. Untill death do us part. I’ve already realized that. But you know what, can we please wait with that too? Only… We don’t have to fight each other anymore, agree? Please? I really would if necessary, but really, I prefer not…

Because, I still have to figure things out. Put things straight again. Collect puzzle pieces and make it whole again.Fulfill dreams, reach goals, help other people. Cherish my beloved ones and my own life. And most of all, I have to lick my wounds. Many wounds. Endlessly long. Bottomless deep.

Sometimes, I am so so tired. So empty. But don’t you worry. My soul is full. And sparkling. Always.

So, my dearest cancer. Please, back off a little longer. Give me more time. The longer, the better. Because you know, I will never forget you. I couldn’t, even if I tried.

Love, Lindsey