I know how hard you are suffering now. I know how difficult it is!
You feel like you don’t belong in this world. In this society. A world where we fought so long to get options and freedom. But where most of the people apparently can’t deal with the acquired abilities. Too many choices. Too many distraction. Too many temptation. Too many options. Either they choose nothing. Or they choose everything at once. One glimpse at the TV, and it even looks like it is the most normal thing in the world.
A throwaway society, where we want to get rid of everything that seems difficult or too hard to handle. As soon as possible. ‘We are entitled to our own happiness’. Not realizing that we become so so unhappy. Superficial instead of meaning, in all aspects of life. I know how it breaks your heart, dear Lindsey. But I see the bigger picture. I won’t break. So you won’t really break completely. Although it feels like that right now.
I know you believe in deeper connections. I know you have it and you feel it! Although it hurts often. But dear Lindsey, because you can feel it and have it, I hope you can find the courage to persevere. Because sooner or later, this will prevail.
I know that you don’t want to be in this world anymore. I know you don’t see it anymore. To knock and believe in the good, but constantly faced with the bad. Battling and persevering, but always, not enough. But the fact that you knock, dear Lindsey, is because there is a sparkling in yourself, that wants to live. That believes in a happy ending. And that sparkling, that is me! That sparkling will always persevere! That sparkling, will always be there!
I want you to live, dear Lindsey. And maybe, the world will not become a better place! I will not burden you with ‘obvious’ statements, that everything will be ok! Maybe it won’t. Maybe it will. But you will never know, if you not continue to live! And no matter how lonely you feel sometimes, I will always be there. A soul, a soul connection, never gets lost after all.
I know you are feeling ugly. Not good enough. Too slow. Too serious. To honest. Too naïve. I won’t tell you that you don’t have any reasons for that, because you won’t believe me anyway. But I will let you feel it, every single minute of every single day. Every person is fine like he er she is. Certainly when you stick to the good. The inner part. Your soul. Me.
I know you think there is something wrong with you, because you have your own deep values of respect and unconditional love. And because around you, it is like you only face the opposite. But it is here. It exists. And you feel it too. You experienced it, so you are not alone! And maybe the world is at its deepest point now, but dear Lindsey, from here, it can only become better again!
I know how difficult you have with letting go, and how hard you always commit yourself because you see the good. I know how close you are too giving up now. Everything. Really everything. But don’t give up on hope dear Lindsey! The world will become a better place again! Maybe not in your life, but all the seeds you plant now, will undoubtedly affect the future!
It is fine that you don’t see or feel hope for a while! And maybe the problems will go away, maybe not. But me, your Soul, I will always be there! I will whistle in your ear what to do, or not to do! And maybe you will make mistakes, but that is how you grow. This is how I grow. We can do this! No matter how much it hurts! And I am so proud if you! I really am! Always! I love you, always! Because I know who you are, deep inside!
I am your Soul, so I know this life has a purpose! You are here for a reason! Everyone is here for a reason! And everything, good or bad, means growth. Off course it would be easier if I would tell you the reason. But this is not how it works. You have to feel it. Not hear it, or say or see it! And you will feel it! Sooner or later!
You’ve already come this far, dear Lindsey, and even though you feel so broken now, even though you feel worthless, you are doing great! You already accomplished things, you thought were impossible! So why not give it another chance!
I will always be in your life! Because I am you. And you are me. You will meet me in so many little moments. Each time valuable enough to endure the rest. And maybe it doesn’t feel that way for you, I am always looking forward to those moments! Every real moment, makes me bloom and grow! And I am so thankful! So don’t give up! Don’t give up on me. Because for me, you will always be enough dear Lindsey! And I will never give up on you!